Evasive Talent

According to a certain artist, Dave Archer can dodge questions like Keanu Reeves dodges bullets. Not one to believe "artists", we put this talent to the test. So, we went where no one has dared to go. We've asked the MOST personal questions to Mr. Millennium Contestant Dave Archer...aka Mr. Evasive. Below is an actual excerpt from the conversation--we know you will be amazed at his answering techniques...

Dave, do you have a girlfriend?

I care deeply for nature - ostriches in particular. Which makes my wearing of these ostrich-skin boots all the more heartless.

How much money do you make?

Accepting a salary would disqualify me for NSLS Volunteer of the Millennium award. I’m told that I am fortunate, however, to be the only staff member exempt from overdue fines.

What do you think of your boss?
My boss defies the rules by selling the steak AND the sizzle!

What’s your favorite food?

Whatever food product is in slot #3 of the staff lounge vending machine – it takes those pesky Canadian Loonies don’t ya know.

What’s your stance on overdue fines?

If elected Mr. Millennium, I will favor the incentive-laden approach such as: ‘Return a book on time, get a hug.’

Do you believe in corporal punishment for people who dog-ear pages in library books?

I’m more concerned about those ‘gently-used’ earbuds returned with the PlayAways.

What’s the gross national product of Djibouti?

741. The economy is based on service activities connected with the country's strategic location and status as a free trade zone in northeast Africa. Two-thirds of the inhabitants live in the capital city; the remainder are mostly nomadic herders. Scanty rainfall limits crop production to fruits and vegetables, and most food must be imported. Djibouti provides services as both a transit port for the region and an international transshipment and refueling center. Djibouti has few natural resources and little industry. The nation is, therefore, heavily dependent on foreign assistance to help support its balance of payments and to finance development projects.

Is the sky blue?

There is no such color as blue.

What color is your shirt?
Blue.

What’s the date today?

If elected Mr. Millennium, today will be the best day of my life.

So, do you think he has the talent it takes to be Mr. Millennium? Comment!